Life, death, and dinner
2001-11-05 - 12:53 a.m.
Woohoo!
Dinner with cuddle-friend, two of her friends, and her ex, and we all survived intact!
Her ex did do a lot of the talking this evening, which probably was good for him. Cuddle-friend and I snuck off to talk a bit after we got home, and held hands for a while, and that was nice.
It still seems weird showing too much affection with her in front of him... I don't know how much of it is being in tune with her reactions, or trying to be sensative to him, or what, but we seem to pull away a bit sometimes when he enters the room... I think we're trying not to flaunt our affections in front of him, but it almost makes it feel like we have something to hide. Which we don't... he has a pretty good idea of what is going on...
But tonight, he appeared to be totally okay with things. I've known him for 10 years, but I don't know him well enough to be certain whether he's faking it... He seemed less stressed tonight, and on Tuesday he seemed unable to even fake being okay. So either way, things appear to be getting better.
Warning for the squeamish: I'm about to launch into a ramble about meat, death, hunting, taxidermy, and pet euthanasia.
My cuddle-friend, by the way, has a taxidermy hobby. I'm vegan, and I have the impression that a good number of vegans probably don't like the idea of taxidermy. I've been thinking a lot about the subject lately.
While I choose to be vegan, the vast majority of the population of the world still eats meat. In "civilized" countries, most people no longer have anything to do directly with the killing of animals for food... they go to the store and buy meat.
I've thought over the prospect of some day raising kids, and I think if they want to eat meat, they ought to go hunting. My nephew hunts... maybe he could take them. I think if you can kill for food, and are okay with that, then your eating meat is more "honest" than someone who could never handle killing an animal, yet still buys meat and eats it. Not that you have to kill all the meat you eat, but that you have experienced the process, at least once.
So I was thinking, taxidermy involves dealing with a dead animal, hopefully one that was actually used for meat. It involves art in bringing out the animal's beauty and, in a way, celebrating its life. I think someone who does taxidermy can appreciate, like a hunter, meat in an "honest" way.
I've euthanized two suffering pets... a cat and a rat... and I did it myself. I think that helped me understand death in ways I wouldn't be able to if I'd just surrendered them to a vet... paid someone else to do the "dirty" work. Heck, I hadn't even really understood euthanasia until I saw brought my cat home from the vet and saw him crying out in pain that evening without even attempting to move. I saw him dying of feline leukemia virus, and I knew his suffering would just increase until he died.
The vet was already closed for the night, and the emergency vet was expensive and far enough away that the car trip would increase his suffering. So I cut a hole in a box, placed him in it, pet him for a while, put the box behind the car with the exhaust in the hole, and ran the car. I loved him dearly, and I took his life. I don't think I will ever hunt for food, but I have some understanding of that now. And I definately see hunting for food as a much different thing than "trophy" hunting.
Hmm.. where was I going with this? Oh, I don't think I would actually do taxidermy, but I would be interested to watch my cuddle-friend work on a project some time. (:
